tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-349157902024-03-23T14:08:22.104-04:00Sea Hag Eats ItAdventures of a depraved candy slut.Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.comBlogger154125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-257417325128986612009-01-14T10:51:00.000-05:002009-01-13T23:08:29.996-05:00Candy Detox: Day 5<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgya12i-bkxWHZm-GvT0A5dnERcjot8AFgsgVTDHm_NomykLs2bc97MVsHwJawzigwgjdkSESBtDsSnBmB84QR_vsSdcnPmUNWQLYAqadxqqbOyx5vS6gCRbGw9ZQ3witrlwa2dhg/s1600-h/IMG_3261.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgya12i-bkxWHZm-GvT0A5dnERcjot8AFgsgVTDHm_NomykLs2bc97MVsHwJawzigwgjdkSESBtDsSnBmB84QR_vsSdcnPmUNWQLYAqadxqqbOyx5vS6gCRbGw9ZQ3witrlwa2dhg/s320/IMG_3261.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290996241609539042" border="0" /></a><br />Today's dose of gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, vegan, kosher, certified organic and fair trade candy is a Larabar Jocalat Food Bar. (Not to be confused by the Larabar Jocalat Soap Bar, I guess). I got it at Trader Joes on the aisle of all their stuff that they sell in bar-form.<br /><br />It tasted OK, I think they were going for the look and taste of a brownie here. I ate about half of one of these before work and it kinda tasted brownie-like, but it had a weird tangy aftertaste and I figured it was all of those vitamins I wasn't used to.<br /><br />But then.<br /><br />About an hour later I started having... um... bubbly guts. Bad. After several hours I finally recovered and I read the ingredients list on this stupid thing. First ingredient: dates. It's basically a giant bar made up of the most squishy fiber-y fruit you can imagine. Yeah. And I only ate half of this thing, and a serving size is one whole bar. I would have had to have had my mail sent to the bathroom at work had I eaten the whole thing.Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-64568534283733866622009-01-13T11:58:00.000-05:002009-01-13T01:34:19.290-05:00Candy Detox: Day 4<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7rjiMvLZDbeuqLVh8SG7pqWdmz801zLXPT34okaDaUS_truJhbkyBc5jFckYip5i3Q06xgEV8UB0GNaMYwcbY4DH4VJ_uAM2pwfbeCe9133516Ux8pQSXloTI45r_pVJ0s-mg5A/s1600-h/IMG_3249.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 194px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7rjiMvLZDbeuqLVh8SG7pqWdmz801zLXPT34okaDaUS_truJhbkyBc5jFckYip5i3Q06xgEV8UB0GNaMYwcbY4DH4VJ_uAM2pwfbeCe9133516Ux8pQSXloTI45r_pVJ0s-mg5A/s320/IMG_3249.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290640857125525698" border="0" /></a><br />OK, so I might have found the first healthy candy that doesn't make me want to yank out my tongue and stomp on it: Bija Omega Truffles. I found these in the refrigerated section at Whole Foods near all the good lip balm and the wacky health supplements they sell. I liked the fact that these candies were marketed as being like a vitamin and not an 'energy' bar or whatever. Plus I really like hazelnut flavored anything so I got these.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMDaUBlnOEgq6824WquhruPUYHDQ08A4DBa7-8ZtglvR1lsT8ZR30mVwtVPX4af3ui1b4WZnshI_v_z1ZWxFI4LVGXsdYuJQ5-XMZJg0AFrQzq1j9tP5BByMmVyQmTDa6zRyQayA/s1600-h/IMG_3250.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 223px; height: 144px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMDaUBlnOEgq6824WquhruPUYHDQ08A4DBa7-8ZtglvR1lsT8ZR30mVwtVPX4af3ui1b4WZnshI_v_z1ZWxFI4LVGXsdYuJQ5-XMZJg0AFrQzq1j9tP5BByMmVyQmTDa6zRyQayA/s200/IMG_3250.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290661227948761682" border="0" /></a><br />The first bite of these were a thick milk chocolate shell with some sort of flaky "99% organic" stuff in the middle. It was smooth, creamy, oily, and sweet with a little bitterness to it, which was at first pretty off-putting, but it's the same exact taste of the skin of a hazelnut and it went nicely with the sweetness of the chocolate and made me ignore all of the "Udo's Oil 3-6-9 Blend" I was ingesting and was sure to be shortly Slip 'N' Sliding out of my colon in a few hours.<br /><br />And just what is this Udo's Oil, you may ask? At first, I had thought it said Udon's Oil so I thought it might be full of those really big fat Japanese noodles. Michael, who I made try one of these truffles, said that Udo was a guy's name in Germany, so I was worried that it was like, one of those things that was supposed to make me get a big boner or grow a testicle or something. (I keep checking, and I'm still an innie, thank Flying Spaghetti Monster.) Finally I looked it up and it's like, some kind of essential fatty acids that body builders swear by to help them lose fat (huh?) but help their skin to keep from looking totally leathery. So I guess it's supposed to give me a nice, shiny coat and help with any potential 'roid rage.Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-35389078990708842602009-01-12T22:03:00.003-05:002009-01-12T22:20:40.702-05:00Candy Detox: Day 3<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR-NAcRzz90OCcpmPGT7k6gPflEODFkIcmhYAwc7i0HsHjiETIwrV0I3kxTcdOXir3qXq_5Wz8AoQqpGkms9QMpkFlM-o1wsXnsF-vZ-pxDgtdMXCU0rcnQq2A2lzTRZq7LHWfig/s1600-h/951028.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 217px; height: 193px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR-NAcRzz90OCcpmPGT7k6gPflEODFkIcmhYAwc7i0HsHjiETIwrV0I3kxTcdOXir3qXq_5Wz8AoQqpGkms9QMpkFlM-o1wsXnsF-vZ-pxDgtdMXCU0rcnQq2A2lzTRZq7LHWfig/s320/951028.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290610550314900386" border="0" /></a><br />Today I had a Bumble Bar (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">chai</span> with almonds) from Trader <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Joes</span>. I bought it mainly because I want the walls of the living room to one day be the color of this wrapper. Home Depot said they could mix up some paint color just like it, no sweat. You know those paint mixer machines? Why hasn't someone made little ones for mixed drinks? Note to self: Invent paint mixer drink machines, invent equally silly glass/bucket-style container to fit in them, along with appropriate beverage. Make millions.<br /><br />What was I talking about again? Oh, Bumblebee Tuna. I like the word 'bumble'. Yeah. All these organics must be making me think so much clearer now! It's a bunch of seeds glued together in some sort of sweet glue that is not made of any sort of soy, meat, dairy, gluten, or corn syrup, so I have no idea what the hell it could possibly be made out of other than like seeds and insect spit and hippie tears. Some helicopter mom actually wrote this about these bars:<br /><br /> <span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"> <a name="Please_note:"></a></span><blockquote style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><a name="Please_note:">Please note:</a> Soy Lecithin is used as a processing agent with Organic Canola Oil. I was concerned about the <a href="http://www.deliciousorganics.com/Controversies/soy.htm">soy</a> used in the Bumble Bars and asked about it. They do not use conventional soy lecithin which is highly likely <a href="http://www.deliciousorganics.com/Controversies/GMFOODS.htm"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">GMO</span></a>; they agreed typical soy lecithin was a big concern. Instead they use non-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">GMO</span>. They have tried to make the bars without it, but they need it in order that the mixture doesn't stick to the pans. They only use it in processing the bars. I felt much more comfortable when I learned that they use only 2 teaspoons for every 5000 bars, quite a minute amount. And my kids love them so I think it's a great snack (and I know they are getting calcium and important nutrients.) Please note that each bar may contain traces of peanuts since they are created on the same line. Again, I was concerned about the <a href="http://www.deliciousorganics.com/Controversies/peanuts.htm"> peanuts</a> and asked from where they came and the peanuts are indeed from Arizona so no concern about the toxic mold that grows on southern peanuts. They are not recommended for diabetics. Can be stored at room temperature or in the refrigerator.</span></blockquote>Wow. I can't imagine what this mom would do if she got a hold of the ingredients list of a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">McNuggett</span>.<br /><br />These are OK, they remind me of those things that you stick in a parakeet's cage that are bell-shaped and made out of seeds. Also the Bumble Bar is too big. About half-way through it my teeth started to hurt from all the chewing and I lost interest. Maybe if I was a brontosaurus I'd have the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">grindy</span> molars capable of masticating this whole thing, but alas, I do not.Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-54635822900483077262009-01-11T23:50:00.004-05:002009-01-11T23:57:08.548-05:00Candy Detox: Day 2<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqzpCczvZEIiUlDx9U55RROi6kWdlDhLLsRP4Y2be4JrvWTEvUyVyc4te-g7EDtN5h5JUC24i8BuImxNDhaDxRdlivL-jKjbTQulPDFpUvQ9QErIIZu4QTYG4lpQPHDDtrq5pHeQ/s1600-h/IMG_3244.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqzpCczvZEIiUlDx9U55RROi6kWdlDhLLsRP4Y2be4JrvWTEvUyVyc4te-g7EDtN5h5JUC24i8BuImxNDhaDxRdlivL-jKjbTQulPDFpUvQ9QErIIZu4QTYG4lpQPHDDtrq5pHeQ/s320/IMG_3244.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290265386559039122" border="0" /></a><div>I had no idea what the fuck a mulberry was when I bought these things, but so far I'd never met a berry I didn't like: blueberry, strawberry, cranberry, raspberry, blackberry, Boo Berry, Halle Berry; it's all good. Plus, it was covered in dark chocolate, so in spite of all the goofy Earth-humper sayings on the package I bought a pack of Organic Dark Chocolate Covered Mulberries at Whole Foods to try.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjveex0Mq5UI9I6iCID6oym2IWz15Nmg0MVf_E9svHRcQ88eUaKC1TEMugbCihUw2qQyFvW0Bj_8fhShcfibZ0MIoSSPPRO1mOREmL8a92Jg_T4RpdFZgKKf00Py5tHa0Btr4IkA/s1600-h/IMG_3247.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjveex0Mq5UI9I6iCID6oym2IWz15Nmg0MVf_E9svHRcQ88eUaKC1TEMugbCihUw2qQyFvW0Bj_8fhShcfibZ0MIoSSPPRO1mOREmL8a92Jg_T4RpdFZgKKf00Py5tHa0Btr4IkA/s200/IMG_3247.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290265731812509346" border="0" /></a><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>Well, they certainly smelled wonderful when I opened the bag, and I totally appreciate any sack o' snacks that thoughtfully includes a handy little zip-top so you don't have to shame your self by snorting them down in one sitting. Maybe these would be my "thing" from now on. I'd be that girl who eats the chocolate-covered mulberries. "I'm going to Whole Foods to get some more Dark Chocolate Covered Mulberries. You know I've just got to have my Dark Chocolate Covered Mulberries."<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>Oh, but then I tasted one. First off, the package claimed that these things were "purely nourishing chewy sweetness." I didn't bother even reading the nutritional value of these things, but they sure as fuck weren't chewy. They were totally crunchy on the inside. Crunchy like <i>exosketeton </i>crunchy. And let me be the first to tell you that mulberries taste wonderfully of hand soap. Yum yum. So tangy! So bitter! And the taste willl linger on your tongue and the back of your teeth in spite of repeat tooth brushings thanks to the exuberant amount of "Pure Food Glaze" (organic and FairTrade Certified by BCS Oko-Garantie GmbH!) that will coat your entire digestive tract.<br /><br />So, fuck mulberries. Fuck 'em right in the ear.<br /></div>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-18402678502344490872009-01-10T01:53:00.005-05:002009-01-10T02:41:11.184-05:00Candy Detox: Day 1<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJP1p_fRP_p0BWGA1yudV0_IvFVojWRIDxCBU2Dz86qexH6hkxBEh5UfZ9j5WRKE4DwSfqZDrEbCQeY19ltlwNgZy_zGR83QVkAoryImMJZ4khrhSBmgXKs9otmeYuTs702250vQ/s1600-h/IMG_3241.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 198px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJP1p_fRP_p0BWGA1yudV0_IvFVojWRIDxCBU2Dz86qexH6hkxBEh5UfZ9j5WRKE4DwSfqZDrEbCQeY19ltlwNgZy_zGR83QVkAoryImMJZ4khrhSBmgXKs9otmeYuTs702250vQ/s320/IMG_3241.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289566487693544706" border="0" /></a>My first day in Candy Rehab started with Ruth's HempPower Chocolate Raspberry Bar. I was hoping that, because I bought this in a co-op in Little 5 Points where all the hobos pee in the parking lot and not at a health food conglomerate like Whole Foods I'd have actually bought a, you know, "magic" hemp bar that would help me get through the first couple days of Candy DTs, but no such luck. My big clue should have been big kosher-approved seal on the front.<br /><br />I ope<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3QFj1N7WHWnuz_qoZvAIM0Qv-g6G1PDEErmiPUvy0r9z2pDCdCf4U1bypaZ51RNnmDILTq1K_oyci9v3ojrMVP-Mv2mv7UfWj7TFrgSCnlQW8H4i2BNWdHS419qHp8yAvZ7CNrA/s1600-h/2247553.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 96px; height: 96px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3QFj1N7WHWnuz_qoZvAIM0Qv-g6G1PDEErmiPUvy0r9z2pDCdCf4U1bypaZ51RNnmDILTq1K_oyci9v3ojrMVP-Mv2mv7UfWj7TFrgSCnlQW8H4i2BNWdHS419qHp8yAvZ7CNrA/s200/2247553.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289565796097359394" border="0" /></a>ned the package and the bar smelled like the inside of a Pier 1. Like all potpourri and wicker chairs and sari fabric. And the taste? Well... I think it tasted like a pine cone. And not even a pine cone that tasted like raspberries or chocolate! I don't know what Ruth was smoking, possibly she was hoarding all the THC she sucked out of my hemp bar, but this hot mess didn't even remotely taste like anything but broom straw. Speaking of which! Right before I went to bed, I had some amazing intestinal distress that was finally quelled by an entire bottle of Pepto. I place the blame squarely on Ruth and her abomination!Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-89827677489141089452009-01-09T01:15:00.018-05:002009-01-09T03:34:04.983-05:00Wow, I Haven't Blogged Since Last Year!Man, that joke is <span style="font-style: italic;">always</span> funny every year. It's a shame that it only has shelf-life of early January, tops.<br /><br />Yeah, so, about that gap in blogging... a lot has been going on in The Sea Hag 'Verse that my lawyers have advised me against posting about, for my blogs can be used against me later in a court of law, but I can tell you this: do <span style="font-style: italic;">not</span> go to Vegas and drink White Russians alone in Caesar's Palace or you might find yourself married to a Jewish stranger from Austin, Texas who claims to be working on a deal between Manischewitz and Office Depot to manufacture envelopes with glue that is both grape-flavored and kosher.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy86rBEDXgssPyFmjqOeAp_Yu7DMqlTu_u0VOBfmW3cb1fpYbx1xew0N8OLT6sttE-jQmSABEiMB0kF2jDks_4yYjfa43ERPl607iUU3aeL__eaXmeD5qCGbnKDYsRh8sWN8sWWw/s1600-h/drunk2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 218px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy86rBEDXgssPyFmjqOeAp_Yu7DMqlTu_u0VOBfmW3cb1fpYbx1xew0N8OLT6sttE-jQmSABEiMB0kF2jDks_4yYjfa43ERPl607iUU3aeL__eaXmeD5qCGbnKDYsRh8sWN8sWWw/s320/drunk2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289181919532898786" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;">This is the one and only wedding photo we got. We had a drunk Rodeo Nationals guy take it. You could have served Christmas dinner on his belt buckle. He was so hammered he took this craptacular picture and then turned around and started to pee in a potted plant. And yes, that appears to be a viking horn on my head, and no, I didn't marry Flavor Fl</span><span style="font-size:78%;">av.</span><br /><br />Actually, as far as husbands go, he wasn't that bad! He had a respectable amount of teeth, held my hair back when I puked on my Chucks, and he helped me steal a washcloth off of the housekeeper's cart to clean them off. Honestly, I would have been content to have stayed with him until at least the SXSW Festival but apparently when we both sobered up he remembered that he was already married and there was some sort of polygamy thing that is generally frowned upon by Jewish Santa or "the law" or some such shit, so we had to get a divorce. Ah well, I will always remember him as my favorite wasband of 2008... whatever his name was. Mazel Tov, dude. We'll always have Pai Gow.<br /><br />Anyway, now that that's all taken care of (well, as much as I can legally admit to here, anyway) and I've sobered up from all of the Pre-Divorce Sob-Fest Parties, Post-Divorce Celebration Parties and New Years Parties, it's time to take stock of my life and figure out how to make Sea Hag better in 2009:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. No more new piercings for a year.</span><br />I've got to coat myself in anti-bacterial soap like three times a day and it's getting expensive. I need to let my current holes heal before I get any new ones.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. Take random pictures without looking in the viewfinder.</span><br />I'm going to put the 'point-and-click' back in point-and-click. I'm going to take my digital camera with me and just snap off some random shots and see what I get. I think it'll be a neat project. Here's some from my living room:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyS8GSAqHqTai-4LZZdtis7lhS9qryzRqF6UFsk8qx9GXOSP4B8anvtl7-jf4U2wtrkzjN6wsn-rZvbD1v6skpBEzzQJCu_lZgRvJfAmTNsDQS-BMnPxHDS1_Z1ZbYIKhKAAAQdg/s1600-h/IMG_3230.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyS8GSAqHqTai-4LZZdtis7lhS9qryzRqF6UFsk8qx9GXOSP4B8anvtl7-jf4U2wtrkzjN6wsn-rZvbD1v6skpBEzzQJCu_lZgRvJfAmTNsDQS-BMnPxHDS1_Z1ZbYIKhKAAAQdg/s320/IMG_3230.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289199684170821170" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht2NBgPtdf9ham03-KboBFoWKDC-7TdtnXgeFPfDcbNfcQcb_TUxQnteC8dPb9VlLjBQkYIPPvRdiZHEzMAH_Nx_pTfj55iztpqq0-ct5aayobkwQc6vJG6xZNgoSL19IxHDxang/s1600-h/IMG_3236.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht2NBgPtdf9ham03-KboBFoWKDC-7TdtnXgeFPfDcbNfcQcb_TUxQnteC8dPb9VlLjBQkYIPPvRdiZHEzMAH_Nx_pTfj55iztpqq0-ct5aayobkwQc6vJG6xZNgoSL19IxHDxang/s320/IMG_3236.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289203333895178866" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp8154Pb7paeAjiNaXE3JPj1mK36qSvUJk0Ul32yrWHrrMcfqp0K2a18QPB5GSRA9tV19RhdLvJMCpzOtzSfKBe0R2DW9r03M3yJtACEcSl2Xjt8vqJ2szSBS7RX6sPJqzaIjuow/s1600-h/IMG_3226.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp8154Pb7paeAjiNaXE3JPj1mK36qSvUJk0Ul32yrWHrrMcfqp0K2a18QPB5GSRA9tV19RhdLvJMCpzOtzSfKBe0R2DW9r03M3yJtACEcSl2Xjt8vqJ2szSBS7RX6sPJqzaIjuow/s320/IMG_3226.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289201324673505154" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcABq6ByKJbjItAqV5wPEikcm5ZZDfDWy4OhglUZc5fRXlZ2g4cH2Pxm4hrN6lRBRH_Tdl218oklzAiXzrJ0AqY47pizrhHzeZsZs1lNlPaFeijir64tiVf8IdnPYud5XXVmFKiw/s1600-h/IMG_3233.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcABq6ByKJbjItAqV5wPEikcm5ZZDfDWy4OhglUZc5fRXlZ2g4cH2Pxm4hrN6lRBRH_Tdl218oklzAiXzrJ0AqY47pizrhHzeZsZs1lNlPaFeijir64tiVf8IdnPYud5XXVmFKiw/s320/IMG_3233.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289200937465438930" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0RSFfTlUi_XZ-EwibOvMQ7z3B7sJTALjf4qa4zMGsTPSuAklseQny6w8bJbJf4XcU3HA4_fEuuFa1NYh1S6LtO_7jlsoec4CVlBG6Yr3UkffM4OxbnP1KNaYgilwj5O5fPU3myQ/s1600-h/IMG_3235.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0RSFfTlUi_XZ-EwibOvMQ7z3B7sJTALjf4qa4zMGsTPSuAklseQny6w8bJbJf4XcU3HA4_fEuuFa1NYh1S6LtO_7jlsoec4CVlBG6Yr3UkffM4OxbnP1KNaYgilwj5O5fPU3myQ/s320/IMG_3235.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289202916234495394" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. Listen to more Journey.</span><br />I am in desperate need of more Vitamin Steve Perry.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4. Go on a a 2-week Candy Detox</span>.<br />In addition to making poor matrimonial choices in 2008, my ass size hit Threat Level Orange. I'm not like every other douchepacker out there blasting through Target on the way to the organic yoga pants section, but clearly I need to curb my candy-loric intake. So, starting tomorrow I am going on a 2-week Candy Detox! Only healthy candy for me, <span style="font-style: italic;">thank you very much! </span>Say goodbye to high-fructose corn syrup and hello to my new friends hemp, carob and soy! Share in my joy as I blog daily about how much better I feel when I eat things that are good and good for me! OH BOY I CAN'T WAIT.<br /><br />Oh, and that whole Crab Odyssey thing? Yeah. Turns out some of them are starting to molt. Basically they shed their little exoskeletons in one piece and they curl up tight in the backs of their shells while they wait for their new shells to harden up. Why does this make the crabs act like they ate the brown acid? Well, think of when you've gone to one of those all-you-can-cram buffets and they have the crab legs, and you have one that you crack open just right and you pull out that perfect slippery piece of crab meat. Yeah, that's what the crabs are like right after they've molted. One big piece of sweet, floppy crab meat... <span style="font-style: italic;">that the other crabs are dying to dunk in melted butter and devour</span>. Seriously, they were all wearing little bibs with pictures of themselves on them. I had to make a little fence around the molting ones out of a plastic water bottle to protect them from the other ones, and those little bastards still tried to dig a hole underneath it! I think one was trying to bake a cake with a file in it too.Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-46960491190679630442008-11-12T00:17:00.014-05:002008-11-15T13:29:52.951-05:002008: A Crab OdysseyMankind has long had a tradition of wandering alone into the wilderness tripping out on hunger, pain and/or fistfuls of various psychotropic substances seeking answers from the other side about the big questions in life: why are we here? Where did we come from? What is my purpose on earth? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?<br /><br />Apparently, hermit crabs go on vision quests, too.<br /><br />I have five hermit crabs: Atticus Pinch, Bret, Jemaine, Cookie Monster and Ivan. In spite of the fact that they are identified as the 'hermit' variety of crustacean, they are actually quite communal and love to sleep in a cuddle puddle in the back of their aquarium under the plant, which is where the heater is. Hermit crabs are also boring as hell, by the way. When I went to the pet store to buy them I purposely got the ones that were the biggest bastards because I wanted only apex predators. But since I got them home all they do is dig holes and sleep in them except for the five minutes a day when they wander over to the water dish and put their feelers on it, then they go to the food dish and get some Crab Chum with their little pinchy claw, then they go back to sleep. I've tried toys and baths and humidifiers and everything with these buttheads to make them more entertaining, but so far no luck.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtu_gUOkDqVJa8zqjFY6bOsU7fCQHQ8fQxpWrJiZsVAjjYjIIl8AfH4hCWn2ZWTqnkTgwDIaEGvdr7neYkZnBjNlL8W2mgsQd5wBT9wdH5rzIZgcXBjVI7cU9VBKNo0AeXXOq3wQ/s1600-h/IMG_2917.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtu_gUOkDqVJa8zqjFY6bOsU7fCQHQ8fQxpWrJiZsVAjjYjIIl8AfH4hCWn2ZWTqnkTgwDIaEGvdr7neYkZnBjNlL8W2mgsQd5wBT9wdH5rzIZgcXBjVI7cU9VBKNo0AeXXOq3wQ/s320/IMG_2917.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267659130271989730" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;">I couldn't get them to keep still for this picture, as you can plainly see.</span><br /></div><br />A few weeks ago I was cleaning their aquarium and giving them new, fresh sand and scrubbing the tiny crab turds off of the bottom of the tank (on a sidenote, where are crab's buttholes? I mean, I figure they must be inside their shells where the rest of their ass is, but if it is, how do the poops come out of there? Is there like, a shell sphincter that I don't know about?) and after everything was all nice and clean I put them all back and, like the farteaters they are, they crawled behind the plant and went to sleep.<br /><br />But the next day I noticed that Jemaine was not in the pile with everyone else, but way off in the opposite corner under the little pile of driftwood. To get a better idea of the geography of the aquarium, I have included this diagram:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUXuPl2oL-3SvwcDibpIpu2NEEH0-YrHZgd9-r_UhyndyQrbssejin-g9no6nGXpOFpM2BmGlUXwtkeXjh4PxEgOYJgLX3E3WNjrvQ_e204BkPTgz3A-Hm6m0SFG8zhgaSoJemSA/s1600-h/tank.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 212px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUXuPl2oL-3SvwcDibpIpu2NEEH0-YrHZgd9-r_UhyndyQrbssejin-g9no6nGXpOFpM2BmGlUXwtkeXjh4PxEgOYJgLX3E3WNjrvQ_e204BkPTgz3A-Hm6m0SFG8zhgaSoJemSA/s320/tank.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267663279129531234" border="0" /></a><br />The crabs primarily reside in quadrant A, which is commonly referred to as 'Under The Tree'. Quadrant B is where the crabs spend the rest of their time at the water and food dishes, and it is called 'The Sponge'. Quadrant C has their salt water dish and most of their empty shells and is known as 'The Shell Graveyard' and D is 'The Sticks'. No crabs ever go there, man. I guess it's the crab-quivalent of going out my front door and deciding to walk to Mongolia. So when Jemaine was found in The Sticks, I wondered what was up.<br /><br />Jemaine was at The Sticks for a week. Every so often another crab would go over and cuddle with him for a little bit, but for the most part they left him alone. I was concerned that he might be sick or maybe he had a fight with Ivan, but after a week he was back Under The Tree.<br /><br />That was certainly odd, but what was even weirder was that the next day Cookie Monster was hiding over in the Shell Graveyard. Four days later he went back, and shortly thereafter Atticus Pinch managed to completely bury himself in the corner near the water dish. He's been there for three days.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0LENWwLrUMkKXMyNnZAO6MujPuw045p6RIBqgAt8p27WZbaDT73N_tb6VcasoHESGZd98h0_3_YEEEn4SkKla5aMX6A1kVbVuGhixnXbVxYeTl5qg9tCVXFzgDMCLc86_0uRXTA/s1600-h/IMG_2936.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0LENWwLrUMkKXMyNnZAO6MujPuw045p6RIBqgAt8p27WZbaDT73N_tb6VcasoHESGZd98h0_3_YEEEn4SkKla5aMX6A1kVbVuGhixnXbVxYeTl5qg9tCVXFzgDMCLc86_0uRXTA/s320/IMG_2936.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267666790443383730" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;">Seriously, there's a crab in there somewhere.</span><br /></div><br />I have documented this whole affair with my camera, and, after much whining and pouting on my part Bret finally told me that crabs must complete a ritual when they hit puberty where they smoke some crab peyote buttons and wander off by themselves to commune with the astral plane. I thought he was full of shit and threatened to use the flash on my camera some more, but he said he could prove it and gave me the diaries of Jemaine, Cookie Monster, Atticus Pinch, and Ivan while they were tripping balls. (Apparently Ivan was the lucky one and got to stay in the fourth corner Under The Tree.) Bret, being the youngest crab, isn't old enough to go on his vision quest yet.<br /><br />So for the next few weeks I will be sharing with you my crabs' revelations about life, the universe and everything. It'll blow your mind, man.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">EDIT: </span>Thanks to all the readers who informed me that peyote is not smoked but is, in fact, ingested. Shine on, you crazy diamonds!Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-6632600915201659002008-11-05T00:11:00.003-05:002008-11-05T00:14:20.688-05:00New President of Our Candy Nation!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGFmvJJnoiKaBLoqIIGMrX2pRECuKNd54FjN57FugM9qvk8lPy1waLkhNbQHDEgY8uaN4Gk8dBnnS2d-6MA-9blkh8zAJOI_OzKnYpM8cK1pJ1gqM06ds7r5QmUlVl566oHie3fQ/s1600-h/535253_hi.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 153px; height: 229px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGFmvJJnoiKaBLoqIIGMrX2pRECuKNd54FjN57FugM9qvk8lPy1waLkhNbQHDEgY8uaN4Gk8dBnnS2d-6MA-9blkh8zAJOI_OzKnYpM8cK1pJ1gqM06ds7r5QmUlVl566oHie3fQ/s320/535253_hi.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265037417880751746" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Dear Barack Obama,<br /><br />Please don't fuck it up.<br /><br />Love,<br />Sea HagSea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-25687380495186069382008-10-29T18:33:00.009-04:002008-10-29T18:48:16.315-04:00Operation: Af-Candy-Stan = Mission accomplished!!<div style="font-family: arial;">Well, my plan to raise money for "Operation: Af-Candy-Stan" with my voodoo dolls went over about as well as an abstinence talk in the Palin household. Oooh, too soon? OK, how about it went over about as well as Sarah Palin at a Mensa meeting. But fuck it, I wasn't going to let the troops down! They needed my love in candy form! So I took all the change I'd been saving for the last few months:<br /><br /></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOXco4qMWE8DzL5712C3s0rnSRa1QNlfdvygAhdRwkrUmzE7pALcQeQu-cZlFkDX-tMfV53yEFYw9aV6UAqkUOqdWzQ1OZ9QDYC0x_c8rTRJnNoJul3DOhZY5NVKTG_9HvVsu6lg/s1600-h/IMG_2839.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOXco4qMWE8DzL5712C3s0rnSRa1QNlfdvygAhdRwkrUmzE7pALcQeQu-cZlFkDX-tMfV53yEFYw9aV6UAqkUOqdWzQ1OZ9QDYC0x_c8rTRJnNoJul3DOhZY5NVKTG_9HvVsu6lg/s320/IMG_2839.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5262708104191799298" border="0" /></a></div><div style="font-family: arial;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:78%;">Only silver coins, people. Fuck pennies. Fuck them right in the ear. Although my least favorite coin is the nickel. I don't know why.</span><br /><br /></div></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"> </div> <div style="font-family: arial;"> </div> <div style="font-family: arial;"> </div> <div style="font-family: arial;">I managed to save up a little over $53. Then my dad contributed like 5 pounds of Twizzlers and a giant-ass box of Cheez-Its in handy snack packs. I got the rest of the loot:<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj_u9QUArc8JzqCd119TXbwT8VLHkxS_BwV9qY87_AY9nnoTRGSWVPp0bFRCH-uurZttjuP19Rk7LVaWS8C-8_M4Np8K03REXfSlDZqO6-lTsXwhrKIIgUQmMtTDIwGwbMbTtO5Q/s1600-h/IMG_2840.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 248px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj_u9QUArc8JzqCd119TXbwT8VLHkxS_BwV9qY87_AY9nnoTRGSWVPp0bFRCH-uurZttjuP19Rk7LVaWS8C-8_M4Np8K03REXfSlDZqO6-lTsXwhrKIIgUQmMtTDIwGwbMbTtO5Q/s320/IMG_2840.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5262709081062744626" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;">This is the treat motherload.</span><br /></div><br /><br /></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"> </div> <div style="font-family: arial;"> </div> <div style="font-family: arial;">Then I had to stuff all of it in a box. Let me tell you, it took ALL of my mad Tetris skills to do this:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6zpljTBbzLJPpQuUrah5x4CPLDtEMkmRHBkJ59jfGQfsrmJmf0TdoMyUU6tk88CgW3AjqoowCiWPSRdZhgb0WNXyxH7Zw6Fzlm3Ia-lsW0Ssl9XxZSP8-y8O_Fzabqxu4U3FPfw/s1600-h/IMG_2841.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 286px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6zpljTBbzLJPpQuUrah5x4CPLDtEMkmRHBkJ59jfGQfsrmJmf0TdoMyUU6tk88CgW3AjqoowCiWPSRdZhgb0WNXyxH7Zw6Fzlm3Ia-lsW0Ssl9XxZSP8-y8O_Fzabqxu4U3FPfw/s320/IMG_2841.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5262709523978823458" border="0" /></a><br /><br /></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"> </div> <div style="font-family: arial;">I also wrote a little letter to put in the box:<br /><br /></div> <blockquote dir="ltr" style="margin-right: 0px; font-family: arial;"> <div> </div> <div style="font-family: arial;"> Oct. 28, 2008<br /><br /> Hello! </div></blockquote> <blockquote dir="ltr" style="margin-right: 0px; font-family: arial;"> <blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0px 0px 0px 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;"> <div>The story of how this box of treats came to you is a little weird: I am a huge candy freak, and a few months ago I did a project where I tried a different candy every day for thirty days. Most of the candies I tried were from other countries and many of them were absolutely awful. I had one candy that tasted like refried beans. It was totally foul. Anyway, I was telling my friends about how I felt sorry for the children in the countries where bean-flavored treats were considered tasty, and I jokingly said I was going to start the "Reese's Piece Corps" to send out delicious candy to the unfortunate. One friend asked if my imaginary non-profit would consider sending candy to troops as well, and, because it was such a good idea, "Operation: Af-Candy-stan" was born.<br /><br /></div> </blockquote> <div> </div> <blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0px 0px 0px 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;"> <div>On behalf of all the people who supported "Operation: Af-Candy-stan" I'd like to tell you that we love you all, and that we are proud of you and appreciate everything you do. We hope you come home safe and that you come home soon.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div> </div> <div>Sincerely, </div> <div> </div> <div>Sea Hag, 'President' of the Reese's Piece Corps</div></blockquote> <div> </div> <div> <br /> Reese's Piece Corps members:</div> <blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0px 0px 0px 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;"> <div>Dad</div> <div>John</div> <div>Noochie</div> <div>Michael<br /><br /></div></blockquote> <div> </div></blockquote> <div style="font-family: arial;"> </div> <div style="font-family: arial;">I took the box to the post office and it was totally heavy. I'd like to thank the rotten twat who watched me struggle to open the door without dropping the box and crushing my foot, by the way. Anyway, I do have pretty wimpy girl arms (however, my pimp hand is strong) so I figured it must be about ten pounds and I was pretty proud of that. But when they weighed it I about crapped a canary when I saw how heavy it actually was:<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjQ9izVgsaBnSiy24IvMroZonfvk5OU7TBmFQFzpqeKqU7n4QkSJ3przExucHj1AVXjeApG1bUAtzhrNGmJZjwsmQQEXY8GPWZi2mI8C57A3fC7cNDvO_MaXC0QwYK7iemvLYM7g/s1600-h/IMG_2857.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 163px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjQ9izVgsaBnSiy24IvMroZonfvk5OU7TBmFQFzpqeKqU7n4QkSJ3przExucHj1AVXjeApG1bUAtzhrNGmJZjwsmQQEXY8GPWZi2mI8C57A3fC7cNDvO_MaXC0QwYK7iemvLYM7g/s320/IMG_2857.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5262710602924549058" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;">24 pounds of candy! How awesome is that?</span><br /></div><br /></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"> </div> <div style="font-family: arial;">So on behalf of the Reese's Peace Corps, I'd like to thank all the contributors and all the people who encouraged me to do this. I think we did a rad thing and I hope we can give these troops a little happiness.</div> <div style="font-family: arial;"> </div>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-76643414890867629682008-10-01T23:10:00.012-04:002008-10-01T23:46:05.977-04:00Operation: Af-Candy-Stan is ON!<div>I know it's been a while since I've mentioned it, but I have been collecting money for the Reese's Piece Corps' Operation: Af-Candy-Stan throughout the summer and I will be sending a big care package by mid-October! Here's what I've got so far:<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOrPAucMJiBtWHuR9OKmx7K9X97uVdpAL60mHFrJLYK6roxMCYLT69qY3d2ZdRC0upeKsn4LczJS4_02FpHA-GhcQiRKC5s6X_rS0jg_iXfbbdh25oOH83JRepEQ8ptdp37c68VQ/s1600-h/IMG_2803.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOrPAucMJiBtWHuR9OKmx7K9X97uVdpAL60mHFrJLYK6roxMCYLT69qY3d2ZdRC0upeKsn4LczJS4_02FpHA-GhcQiRKC5s6X_rS0jg_iXfbbdh25oOH83JRepEQ8ptdp37c68VQ/s320/IMG_2803.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5252394493190133618" border="0" /></a></div> <div> </div> <div>I know it looks pitiful right now, but my Dad has also contributed like 3 pounds of Twizzlers and Cheez-Its. They're being stored at his house because I can't be trusted around unguarded Twizzlers.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>So, how can <span style="font-style: italic;">you</span> help? I'm glad you asked!<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>Do you despise Sarah Palin? Do you wish she'd take a long walk off a short Pier To Nowhere? Say "thanks, but no thanks" to the Republican vice presidential nominee with your very own Sarah Palin Voo-Doo Doll! Each of these is hand-made by your favorite Sea Hag and comes in three varieties:<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>The RNC look:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekaSd_okH7nXVLvzVWFDM7K7bgJX6hOHWeYR62xkAbWeaz896OZXBEqOJKVJiKzCeNsGVE0fOMbkrbqjb071uLMExQS8yWceKizZy6fFBbvnEa-lG8av0Z3Qs95pk1is6Ee9NRg/s1600-h/IMG_2809.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekaSd_okH7nXVLvzVWFDM7K7bgJX6hOHWeYR62xkAbWeaz896OZXBEqOJKVJiKzCeNsGVE0fOMbkrbqjb071uLMExQS8yWceKizZy6fFBbvnEa-lG8av0Z3Qs95pk1is6Ee9NRg/s320/IMG_2809.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5252395109572887202" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBIxbJlphdm4IhFJcb4FpD3MwCcv6JOdtntv17vkeLQ7C6sYtT-7d_62eUm_92oNYpmQY5q1DBEjIeHg6t4HQlZ6wThmMmTYHxZXnQEGYiLXxvoXxlhA_KF_rLdxB4cgCmn16zvg/s1600-h/74461_sarah-palin-speaks-at-the-republican-national-convention.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBIxbJlphdm4IhFJcb4FpD3MwCcv6JOdtntv17vkeLQ7C6sYtT-7d_62eUm_92oNYpmQY5q1DBEjIeHg6t4HQlZ6wThmMmTYHxZXnQEGYiLXxvoXxlhA_KF_rLdxB4cgCmn16zvg/s320/74461_sarah-palin-speaks-at-the-republican-national-convention.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5252395306963784306" border="0" /></a><br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div> </div> <div>The red power-suit look:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt4uiqyTM9tBVLb22gsM38dAxb-cLXnxfcwbg7oPZcP2xB1W6u8YJGdRno0qJ5JL4f0BjzyFue9sBt2X4lTYyJnz__T_rPnMmka5o4u_gaAxvZaauKx4GbyWRNir5CkTdFVr3zfA/s1600-h/IMG_2806.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt4uiqyTM9tBVLb22gsM38dAxb-cLXnxfcwbg7oPZcP2xB1W6u8YJGdRno0qJ5JL4f0BjzyFue9sBt2X4lTYyJnz__T_rPnMmka5o4u_gaAxvZaauKx4GbyWRNir5CkTdFVr3zfA/s320/IMG_2806.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5252395642829990754" border="0" /></a></div> <div> </div> <div> </div> <div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD0u6vije3j_LGPuN_M5LK1wlsO6jSUHb_iPi8tUFCksN4XFKrz1NfhshoU20xDDMrSQQ01ZKORBcDOBOPYDl3pUs4uFdKalXFv6nrlf7kLj7MThpI589IKFF8fWFnRtI-ocuSvA/s1600-h/palinred.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD0u6vije3j_LGPuN_M5LK1wlsO6jSUHb_iPi8tUFCksN4XFKrz1NfhshoU20xDDMrSQQ01ZKORBcDOBOPYDl3pUs4uFdKalXFv6nrlf7kLj7MThpI589IKFF8fWFnRtI-ocuSvA/s320/palinred.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5252395437467414562" border="0" /></a><br /><br />And the armed-in-a-flag-bikini look:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif5W8qiTJlSEhNYSMIh7_xlXyCKUfTIAh7QkEpcXl6Yh5IgRo9YHsP5MLBvr6JxmsIKM8Gr0mCPL7HE-dEDD1zs6blGk-QoaDyYRqWNq_o2YvXQ8f1lJoOVSunkotP1-co4S6TAQ/s1600-h/IMG_2805.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif5W8qiTJlSEhNYSMIh7_xlXyCKUfTIAh7QkEpcXl6Yh5IgRo9YHsP5MLBvr6JxmsIKM8Gr0mCPL7HE-dEDD1zs6blGk-QoaDyYRqWNq_o2YvXQ8f1lJoOVSunkotP1-co4S6TAQ/s320/IMG_2805.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5252395802243558658" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKbotj3B1eWCTHbd9uo6hWZEQWm2x7IY7eFpXA4Es2lsPBrGmD8rwdwL3Ule6B0VCDtiBn1RC3ur22lpKgv_2HTwHuWlwQjt_rD6_ZurPKvvs-L5HKkHgiFHXNo3sgSceAzJZhvw/s1600-h/Not_Palin_Bikini.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKbotj3B1eWCTHbd9uo6hWZEQWm2x7IY7eFpXA4Es2lsPBrGmD8rwdwL3Ule6B0VCDtiBn1RC3ur22lpKgv_2HTwHuWlwQjt_rD6_ZurPKvvs-L5HKkHgiFHXNo3sgSceAzJZhvw/s320/Not_Palin_Bikini.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5252395383699988834" border="0" /></a></div> <div> </div> <div><br />Stick sharp, rusty objects in her eyes! Teach her about basic civics! Learn her hair styling secrets! Stand on your front porch and look at Alaska with her! Yes, the Sarah Palin Voo-Doo Doll has thousands of uses. (And if you like Sarah Palin then I can turn it into a fridge magnet and not mock you too much.)<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div><b>I am asking for a minimum of $4 per doll, and 100% of the proceeds will go towards Operation: Af-Candy-Stan.</b> With each doll I will include a small prize as well! Support the troops and join the Reese's Piece Corps!<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>I am hoping to collect money for some more candy, DVDs, books and shipping costs to go to the troop I adopted through AnySoldier.Com. If anyone has any ideas for other goodies to send (nothing hygiene-related or the chemicals will make the candy taste weird) please let me know. I can also make an Obama or McCain voo-doo doll for the aforementioned $4 (or more, if you're feeling generous). If you'd like to make a donation or if you'd like your very own voo-doo doll I'll send you my PayPal account stuff. I think that would be the easiest way to do it.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>I will include updates and pictures so you can see exactly what your donation bought.</div> <div> </div>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-57316895441840783842008-09-29T14:24:00.006-04:002008-09-29T14:36:12.413-04:00Cooking with candy!<a href="http://sea-hag.blogspot.com/2008/07/candy-ramadan-day-25.html">Remember</a> when I ate those dark chocolate cacao nibs? Well, I still had a bunch of those things left so I decided to make oatmeal dark chocolate cacao cookies!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvRGbR7eCBNrqyeam47veq3cquqCBedh4gxfLPAvkPjKOuJC3ph_OPyDPK4Oh8_WivobHKqZZq4UrboGHeRwxUA6xnnb_W7oFJvVdEdw3NNCAWISIT3qGRvHKKf39IbOBH7KWS6A/s1600-h/IMG_2535_2.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvRGbR7eCBNrqyeam47veq3cquqCBedh4gxfLPAvkPjKOuJC3ph_OPyDPK4Oh8_WivobHKqZZq4UrboGHeRwxUA6xnnb_W7oFJvVdEdw3NNCAWISIT3qGRvHKKf39IbOBH7KWS6A/s320/IMG_2535_2.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5251512625044060514" border="0" /></a><br />Funny thing about me is, although I have an insatiable sweet tooth I rarely bake because there's no way I can eat an entire cake or pie or batch of cookies. I get bored of them and then they go bad. But I hit upon a solution to my problem: I could bring them to work! Those people will eat anything; they'll be all over free food like a rat on a Cheeto.<br /><br />These turned out very good, I like having oatmeal in cookies, it makes them filling and fools people into thinking they might be a little healthy. Here's the recipe I used:<br /><br /><ul><li> 1 cup butter, softened</li><li> 1 cup packed light brown sugar</li><li> 1/2 cup white sugar</li><li> 2 eggs</li><li> 2 teaspoons vanilla extract</li><li> 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour</li><li> 1 teaspoon baking soda</li><li> 1/2 teaspoon salt</li><li> 3 cups quick-cooking oats</li><li> 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips (I used the cacao nibs)<br /></li></ul><br /><ol><li><span> Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). </span></li><li><span> In a large bowl, cream together the butter, brown sugar, and white sugar until smooth. Beat in eggs one at a time, then stir in vanilla. Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt; stir into the creamed mixture until just blended. Mix in the quick oats, walnuts, and chocolate chips. Drop by heaping spoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheets. </span></li><li><span> Bake for 12 minutes in the preheated oven. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. </span></li></ol>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-87579358995957798802008-09-17T01:28:00.002-04:002008-09-17T01:46:54.604-04:00Sea Hag gets all political (again)I made this on Saturday:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9L76_ehhnkBWEpjMtcsg_qWsUutEOJVoHSPh04XIhMq7xwHbU6ObPQugOkClrDAiyTAf79qXu9WDD_mW43a1wucNT7NbyLtrcCDjo9lSKMbd7vALFHNXMbWmBxtxAqSNc-Xw8Ww/s1600-h/IMG_2715.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9L76_ehhnkBWEpjMtcsg_qWsUutEOJVoHSPh04XIhMq7xwHbU6ObPQugOkClrDAiyTAf79qXu9WDD_mW43a1wucNT7NbyLtrcCDjo9lSKMbd7vALFHNXMbWmBxtxAqSNc-Xw8Ww/s400/IMG_2715.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5246862531576527938" border="0" /></a><br />And Sarah Palin lost 10 'favorable' points (according to the Diageo Hotline poll) in 3 days.<br /><br />Coincidence?Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-4491128874128448872008-09-09T01:13:00.003-04:002008-09-09T01:17:22.328-04:00Candy-cation! Day 7<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.judaicaheaven.com/catalog/tnfood-105.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.judaicaheaven.com/catalog/tnfood-105.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div>In a roll of Fruit Mentos, the strawberry-flavored ones would be the Queen Mentos, and the rest would be the Worker Mentos. Seriously, the other flavors are there just to preserve your dignity so you don't shove the whole tube down your throat in like six seconds. Of course, I have seen that they make a strawberry-only roll now but I have (so far) successfully avoided them like a recovering pot addict will stay away from a Dave Matthews Band concert.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>But oh! I gave up years of Strawberry Mento sobriety when I saw a roll of Strawberry Yoghurt Mentos. Strawberry! Yoghurt! Is that the metric spelling of 'yogurt' or something? Am I supposed to pronounce it yog-hurt? Anyway, I couldn't resist. I'm not made of stone, you know!</div> <div> </div> <div>These were pretty good, I think think the ones I got were at the end of their fresh shelf-life but I still scarfed them down pretty quickly. They kind of tasted like a strawberry milkshake, like a sweeter, less-intense regular strawberry Mento. By the way, the UK version of the Mentos website has hot girls in bikinis all over it, and the US website is hella-lame. Maybe British bikini babes are attracted to that extraneous <span style="font-style: italic;">h</span>.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>On my last day in St. Maarten I saw this little German kid asleep at the beach and he was wearing awesome candy shorts:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWCWECh8o4qenYAERfEJIYEofgzxxn27brIW8JCS8qbEVl91Kq9Fv0imrwUGg74Xm9n-XlqWDOhcSa0Ghp3t6zSu_bOYjtNDHZLGCqHU5gprzXw6gciuZ7psdtMzb7jVc5TpVB1A/s1600-h/IMG_2525_2.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWCWECh8o4qenYAERfEJIYEofgzxxn27brIW8JCS8qbEVl91Kq9Fv0imrwUGg74Xm9n-XlqWDOhcSa0Ghp3t6zSu_bOYjtNDHZLGCqHU5gprzXw6gciuZ7psdtMzb7jVc5TpVB1A/s400/IMG_2525_2.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5243885695612620818" border="0" /></a><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>It was a good way to end my Candy-cation.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>And so ends my nearly two-month long boring-ass recap of Candy-cation. Huzzahs! Now we can move on to other things.</div></div>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-58933915288629397572008-09-05T22:01:00.000-04:002008-09-05T22:01:00.610-04:00Candy-cation! Day 5 & 6<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/88/KitKat_chunky.jpg/800px-KitKat_chunky.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/88/KitKat_chunky.jpg/800px-KitKat_chunky.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><div> <div>I loves me some Kit Kat bars, so I was pretty stoked to see the alternate versions of Dark Chocolate and Chunky, which had peanut butter in it. I really wish they would get more creative with the Kit Kats in the U.S., I mean, all we get are the regular 'four-fingered' varieties and the giant 'one-fingered' ones. I love the Kit Kat terminology! You totally need to check out that shit on their web site. Did you know that Kit Kat bars are the number one selling candy in the U.K.? And that they have a ton of different-flavored varieties in Japan, including Iced Tea, Green Tea, Caramel and Salt, Cherry Blossom, Orange, Apple, Melon, Red Bean (ewwww), Cantaloupe and Gold? Oh, but we get our own special flavor in the U.S.: Kit Kat White Creme, which is made with vegetable oil based candy coating rather than pure white chocolate. Yum yum!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.nestle.ca/NR/rdonlyres/C2787F22-7E5B-48E7-BD65-FFC2E92989F6/0/KKDk45g_May07.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 168px;" src="http://www.nestle.ca/NR/rdonlyres/C2787F22-7E5B-48E7-BD65-FFC2E92989F6/0/KKDk45g_May07.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /></div> </div> <div> </div> <div>The Dark Chocolate Kit Kat was OK, you could taste the dark chocolate but it wasn't very good quality chocolate. It's probable the lowest concentration of cocoa allowable to be called 'dark' chocolate, really. But it wasn't bad. The Chunky Kit Kat was a 'one-finger' bar, and I love those. It reminds me of that scene in 'Honey I Shrunk The Kids' where the kids find the Oatmeal Cream Pie. That would be so cool. Anyway, the peanut butter flavor wasn't terribly pronounced, but I've never been a huge peanut butter fan anyway so that was just fine by me. Don't get me wrong, peanut butter is tasty and all, but it's like, me and peanut butter have tried to date before but we decided that we were better as friends. It wasn't him, it was me. I needed time to go find myself and it just wasn't fair to peanut butter. Plus I didn't want to be tied down to just one sandwich spread.</div> <div> </div> <div> </div> <div> </div>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-56513553111379357292008-09-04T21:51:00.006-04:002008-09-04T21:58:36.042-04:00Sea Hag gets all political and stuff<span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><br />Separated at birth?</span><br /><br />GOP Vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7CsGLoRlITG4BEV5dbeKSQ_CcuEg3dMHdJFUx-UcI0Z0f_0OCQZK6z8x1QNMd9s2zcP_SuMIk1S6xd_l0qdLBGBmNzBfA6L5nylRWN3ybUrdjKKOegMobQ9vAW1zohpl9xbH2zQ/s1600-h/Gov-Palin-2006_Official.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7CsGLoRlITG4BEV5dbeKSQ_CcuEg3dMHdJFUx-UcI0Z0f_0OCQZK6z8x1QNMd9s2zcP_SuMIk1S6xd_l0qdLBGBmNzBfA6L5nylRWN3ybUrdjKKOegMobQ9vAW1zohpl9xbH2zQ/s200/Gov-Palin-2006_Official.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242349348856521922" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />And that woman who played the therapist from 'The Sopranos'?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0PXIU6E8b1nn2hCOxeGG6tZCrJZE-WpQEvXRjLFAF1kDEpvESTH7yJXHaEhgTqa0Y2kgRfqepVHIFT6xV6qvLdWbooVSUs3A5Ajx6XzgFDVxy9dZl7mjEvU3BL3ivnKKWJiLs-g/s1600-h/lorraine_bracco.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0PXIU6E8b1nn2hCOxeGG6tZCrJZE-WpQEvXRjLFAF1kDEpvESTH7yJXHaEhgTqa0Y2kgRfqepVHIFT6xV6qvLdWbooVSUs3A5Ajx6XzgFDVxy9dZl7mjEvU3BL3ivnKKWJiLs-g/s200/lorraine_bracco.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242349541951691842" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Cindy McCain, wife of GOP presidential nominee John McCain:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmgXRtgZApCLKH_acwTuMDM4FCQP4G3Pyd7S3TfIaJP_N4wAgsIGgnOjT-_4D1DL7HqXTWF23bbfk8WndLLbrT333UuXHDCol-qVD4k9sm_Uet66Urrv-ZSWIn9k3gZUHji2sQEQ/s1600-h/CindyMcCain.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmgXRtgZApCLKH_acwTuMDM4FCQP4G3Pyd7S3TfIaJP_N4wAgsIGgnOjT-_4D1DL7HqXTWF23bbfk8WndLLbrT333UuXHDCol-qVD4k9sm_Uet66Urrv-ZSWIn9k3gZUHji2sQEQ/s200/CindyMcCain.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242349804698843618" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />And that woman I hate from Food Network, Sandra Lee?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjsoGNdpa73QcGelYdNRzwXzUW5siPsV09_0Ui2DjTDpxxvroFjg-2ABcSqAdUw_mEqf7cWvwpHQNyS0Y25oALLNJhNKQxiRWxgXUSYTeuT3WuhMuMasZIwTzqmkH7mAx6ajczBA/s1600-h/SandraLee.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjsoGNdpa73QcGelYdNRzwXzUW5siPsV09_0Ui2DjTDpxxvroFjg-2ABcSqAdUw_mEqf7cWvwpHQNyS0Y25oALLNJhNKQxiRWxgXUSYTeuT3WuhMuMasZIwTzqmkH7mAx6ajczBA/s200/SandraLee.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242350407370392210" border="0" /></a>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-67548459192746266492008-08-25T03:33:00.003-04:002008-08-25T03:46:07.158-04:00Candy-cation! Day 4<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7dSlXaFcx3wd_Szmsp5PmvwhbPmiyU6FU6Um7SQ-bxKpsdWOPnF8aUX5xQryg85n6UALyk-nfHvuFkm3csF2dVka0KlXv-jHKR5lK1ujTVEGgwV9cbVYANEEXyoazdIV5Y4xWvg/s1600-h/IMG_2483.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7dSlXaFcx3wd_Szmsp5PmvwhbPmiyU6FU6Um7SQ-bxKpsdWOPnF8aUX5xQryg85n6UALyk-nfHvuFkm3csF2dVka0KlXv-jHKR5lK1ujTVEGgwV9cbVYANEEXyoazdIV5Y4xWvg/s400/IMG_2483.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5238355737492704114" border="0" /></a><br /><div>OK, seriously this is the best place in the whole world. This is a little chocolate shop in St. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Maarten</span> owned by a diminutive Belgian woman named Beatrix, which is an awesome name. She makes all the candy in-shop. I can't explain to you how <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">unbelievable</span> this place smells. She needs to charge admission just to get a whiff. But not only does she let you come in the store for free, she feeds you candy. Free candy. <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">FREE AWESOME CANDY.</span><br /><br />She let me have a piece of what she called 'her version of fudge'. In spite of the fact that I'm a raging sugar slut, fudge just <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">doesn't</span> really do it for me. It's gritty and it's so sweet that you can't even taste the chocolate. But not this fudge. It was so incredibly good and smooth and creamy. And free! I stood around for a long time, looking over all the chocolates in the store and chatting with Beatrix, secretly hoping that she would just adopt me so I could live in this Chocolate Nirvana forever. I would totally be her indentured servant. She probably thought I was a moron, but she gave me some more candy so I didn't care. I bought two huge boxes of chocolate to take back. There are all kinds of amazing fillings for these things, in milk, dark, and white chocolates. Also! She makes chocolate boobies and penises. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Hee</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">hee</span>!</div>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-40628953374797498462008-08-20T03:49:00.005-04:002008-08-20T04:04:08.163-04:00Where is Sea Hag?I know I've been slack about posting here lately, but I started partying for my 30th early and I've just sobered up enough to post this. After I finish cleaning up the barf and paying off the strippers I will tell you all about it. And I want to give everyone my unending love for all the happy birthday wishes. You guys rock!<br /><br />What will this upcoming year of <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sea Hag Eats It</span> bring?<br /><br /><ul><li>Finishing Candy-cation!</li><li>Reviewing new candy</li><li>Start a new section called Suck It, Candy!</li><li>Cook with candy</li><li>Do a Candy Detox</li><li>Continuing Operation: Af-Candy-Stan</li><li>And this:</li></ul><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibSzVXvTRakrT4wtRTmZU5esyUEjd6co6vI3VPnP-cKi8bl89AGigMbh3Cj8K8q3nIbLskEj2Y2G0g68edRZA1E0JMGmKjSgAyulGWdSAanB3Cfz7JSX6xtDYsBKZS5p787RKkNA/s1600-h/gwtw+poster.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibSzVXvTRakrT4wtRTmZU5esyUEjd6co6vI3VPnP-cKi8bl89AGigMbh3Cj8K8q3nIbLskEj2Y2G0g68edRZA1E0JMGmKjSgAyulGWdSAanB3Cfz7JSX6xtDYsBKZS5p787RKkNA/s400/gwtw+poster.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5236507223824260882" border="0" /></a>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-33774360207148940252008-08-04T01:42:00.002-04:002008-08-04T01:49:59.956-04:00Candy-cation! Day 3<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51EyS394PiL._SL500_AA280_.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 230px; height: 230px;" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51EyS394PiL._SL500_AA280_.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I saw this baby and, because of the dark packaging, assumed that it was a dark chocolate version of a Mars bar. Hooray! And when was the last time I had a Mars bar, anyway? I couldn't even remember. So I bought it and was happy as a biscuit at the prospect of yumming it down.<br /><div><br />When I opened it I saw that it wasn't dark chocolate but regular old milk chocolate. That was OK though, because the bar was actually two smaller bars, but together they were bigger than a U.S. Mars bar. Bonus candy! Yet another example of the candy superiority of Europe! Then I took a bite... and it tasted like a Milky Way bar! <span style="font-style: italic;">Where the hell were the almonds? </span>Was it possible that I got the Mars bar confused with another candy? If so, what candy bar was I think of? How could I have possibly gotten confused? Candy's like the only thing I know about! Was this the sign of The Apocalypse? Was the end nigh? Some people claimed that there was candy to blame... but I know it was, somehow, my own damn fault. I spent the rest of my day in a rum-soaked stupor, wondering what the name of that almond candy bar was called.<br /><br />I saw my dad later that day and he was eating a Mars bar in it's deceptive, evil black packaging. "Hey Dad, what was the name of that candy bar that was like a Snickers but it had almonds instead?"<br /><br />He frowned around his mouthful of nougat and chocolate. "You know, I could have sworn it was a Mars bar but this one doesn't have the almonds."<br /><br />"So did I!"<br /><br />"I've actually been wondering all day what this one tastes like."<br /><br />"It tastes like a Milky Way."<br /><br />"Yeah! So what was the one with the almonds?"<br /><br />"I don't know, but I'm glad I'm not going crazy."<br /><br />"Me, too."<br /><br />Then we hugged and I figured that if I had just caused the end of the world I was glad to have had this bonding time with my dad. Later that day I got on the internet and did a little research. Know why I haven't had a Mars bar in a long time? They don't make them in the States anymore. It's called a Snickers with Almonds now. And you know what the call Milky Ways in Europe? Yeah. A Mars bar. Thanks a lot, you butt stains from Mars, Incorporated, you almost drove my family insane.<br /></div>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-53185929814056983952008-08-01T01:16:00.000-04:002008-08-01T01:16:00.778-04:00Candy-cation! Day 2<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.britishdelights.com/images/cad17.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 118px;" src="http://www.britishdelights.com/images/cad17.JPG" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><div> </div> <div>What's so great about St. Maarten (besides the nude beaches and the fact that rum is literally cheaper than bottled water) is that they import all of the good candy from Europe. I know you can get things like Ritter Sport candy and Nestles products in the U.S., and I know I'm going to sound like a completely unoriginal candy snob, but it's all <i>totally different</i> than what's available in Europe. Take, for example, Cadbury candy. You might only be familiar with the Creme Eggs, but they actually make a buttload of other stuff that is much more delicious (Cadbury Bunny forgive me for saying so). The chocolate they use for the European stuff is richer, creamier and not as sweet as its American counterparts.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e7/CadburyCremeEggCar.jpg/799px-CadburyCremeEggCar.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e7/CadburyCremeEggCar.jpg/799px-CadburyCremeEggCar.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;">I love this guy.</span><br /></div><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>I've already had most of the Cadbury offerings on previous trips so I decided to try the Cadbury Picnic Bar. There were actually two different Cadbury bars at the Shell station that I hadn't tried, so it was a toss-up between the Picnic Bar and the Crunchie Bar. I'm glad I went with the Picnic Bar because it turns out that the Crunchie Bar is the twin of the Violet Crumble. Ewww! I barely avoided catastrophe there. (Since I've finished the Candy Ramadan celebration I no longer have to seek out new candies to obtain nougat-like spiritual fulfillment, but after a month of doing so it's become a hard habit to break. I didn't even realize I was purposely avoiding candy I'd already tried until the end of my vacation. Oh well.)<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>Anyway, the Picnic Bar. It's a chocolate bar with peanuts and raisins and caramel and puffed rice. Totally delicious. It does look like a big turd, though, especially with all the peanuts in it, but I guess all chocolate bars kinda do (kinda doo?) Also I've been spelling 'Picnic' as 'Picinic' and was wondering why the spellcheck was freaking out. Apparently I was taught to spell by Yogi Bear. </div>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-6554405485127280582008-07-31T01:31:00.000-04:002008-07-31T01:31:01.073-04:00Candy-cation! Day 1<div> </div>My Candy-cation started off awesome. When I was on the plane to St. Maarten I spotted a girl who had the best suitcase I'd ever seen:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbtpZn1rXqeosTYE-80oWFugwSYRwKlGYh_f2b3p2KpyKS0wLV7xZaXtYl5kWotkbrBiI3rkUEQ_8YappwRyCJNDvi37b97iWAUPui2nNHw-cAhoIA5sc0JEfJ9kZxnbSAuCAtuw/s1600-h/5105_black_l.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbtpZn1rXqeosTYE-80oWFugwSYRwKlGYh_f2b3p2KpyKS0wLV7xZaXtYl5kWotkbrBiI3rkUEQ_8YappwRyCJNDvi37b97iWAUPui2nNHw-cAhoIA5sc0JEfJ9kZxnbSAuCAtuw/s320/5105_black_l.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5228665790553031378" border="0" /></a><div> </div> <div>I wanted to ask her where she got it and see if she was my spiritual candy sister, but she ran off before I could talk to her <span style="font-size:78%;">and possibly steal her luggage</span>. After an exhaustive internet search for this bag I found out that it's made by Betsey Johnson and it's expensive as hell. But, my birthday is coming up so... *cough*present*cough*.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>Anyway, after I got to my condo I went to a little deli to get some drinks and snacks, and I found these things:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj__RA3HWUUtoHwL4o2nW9sVkR5LV-acsQysWxroJWPMWQ7DOJWqdebuMm9PYeujUXuE48LWjSJ1usC51sqT6ZkYPR2ALFJlVjjCsDqjEd8tdi868hMaNfTWa3X5OeMp2kfE0N5qQ/s1600-h/IMG_2438.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj__RA3HWUUtoHwL4o2nW9sVkR5LV-acsQysWxroJWPMWQ7DOJWqdebuMm9PYeujUXuE48LWjSJ1usC51sqT6ZkYPR2ALFJlVjjCsDqjEd8tdi868hMaNfTWa3X5OeMp2kfE0N5qQ/s320/IMG_2438.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5228666151771576850" border="0" /></a><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>Being that St. Maarten is half Dutch and half French, I'm guessing these are a D<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.dutchsweets.com/images/lg_har_lic_all.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 133px; height: 118px;" src="http://www.dutchsweets.com/images/lg_har_lic_all.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>utch candy. I don't know, maybe it's German. All I know is that these things are basically a lemon, orange, or strawberry Starburst smashed together with a black licorice candy. Apparently Europeans <i>love</i> black licorice. I found all kinds of black licorice-y candies all over the island, including Black Licorice Mentos and something called 'Licorice Allsorts' (pictured on the right). Don't get me wrong, I dig black licorice too, my toothpaste even has an anise flavor, but I sure as hell wouldn't go out of my way to purchase an entire bag of black jelly beans. That's pretty filthy.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>These candies were strange. The fruit candy part was pretty good, and the licorice part was good too, but I just didn't think they went together very well and they turned my teeth black. Plus this was one of those weird bags of bottomless candy, like no matter how much I ate there was always more and more, so I threw it away finally because it was freaking me out. I mean, I didn't look inside the bag for fear that I might glimpse a parallel universe where Starbursts and black licorice were somehow wedded in confectionery bliss. Who knows what other kinds of wacky candy combinations could have come out of that bag had I kept it? That's heavy stuff, man.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div> </div> <div><b>Reading group!</b> I sure hope that everyone read 'Candy Girl' by Diablo Cody. There's actually not too much in the way of candy action in this book, but it's a book about strippers so you know it's pretty much the best book ever. I totally have a girl crush on Diablo Cody. Oooh, wouldn't 'Candy Girl' make an awesome tattoo? I think so.<br /><br />Next book: "Candy And Me: A Love Story" by Hilary Lifton </div>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-91402283748217387442008-07-30T00:21:00.004-04:002008-07-30T00:48:18.869-04:00Sea Hag's triumphant return!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinBKXuognRMxlJ1M0MKFVnZlB0QxX-FZ5tIVPEZGMB1bIZBhYg0xj0GBm99K55Z1ORayRcb9vuaWT_Gir9sYkS1DjdkuHnuCfcXcIoEaqDNMDqtgSWQFlXcy8Z-fb1YMHUy-hmhA/s1600-h/advice+puppy+copy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinBKXuognRMxlJ1M0MKFVnZlB0QxX-FZ5tIVPEZGMB1bIZBhYg0xj0GBm99K55Z1ORayRcb9vuaWT_Gir9sYkS1DjdkuHnuCfcXcIoEaqDNMDqtgSWQFlXcy8Z-fb1YMHUy-hmhA/s200/advice+puppy+copy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5228664325380700354" border="0" /></a><br />Hello all you wonderful people! Your favorite Sea Hag is finally back, and when I'm done getting all the beach sand out of my crevices I will tell you how my Candy-cation went.<br /><div><br />In the mean time, the very sexy people at <a href="http://candyaddict.com/" target="_blank">candyaddict.com</a> did an <a href="http://candyaddict.com/blog/2008/07/25/candy-ramadan/" target="_blank">article</a> about me! I am an internet celebrity, just like that that girl who farts on cakes and that cat who wants cheeseburgers! For anyone who has wandered over here from Candy Addict and left a nice comment, I really appreciate it! And for anyone who has been reading before I sold out, you get lots of Hipster-Cred Points.<br /><br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div> </div>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-91101834962903874322008-07-19T22:46:00.008-04:002008-07-19T23:00:52.894-04:00Candy Ramadan: Day 30<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.blogger.com/%20http://www.gilsgourmet.com/merchant2/graphics/00000001/cherries2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 127px; height: 331px;" src="http://www.gilsgourmet.com/merchant2/graphics/00000001/cherries2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I had been saving this particular candy for this special day: the last day of Candy Ramadan. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">These are </span><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Pinor Noir Chocolate Covered Cherries</span><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </span>that my dad bought for me in Sonoma, California when I was starting Candy Ramadan a month ago. He said he also had a bag of chocolate-covered blueberries and a box of Ghirardelli Chocolates but that they both melted when he left them in the car all day. I kind of have a feeling that <i>melted in the car</i> actually meant <i>they're in my tummy </i>but that's OK. Obviously the love of candy is hereditary.<br /><br />It's also awesome that, when I told him about this he didn't think I was crazy or ask why I was even doing it, he just went out and got me some candy. So, no matter what these were thing were going to taste like, they were going to be my favorites because they were bought with love. Also, <i>of course</i> they tasted awesome, are you kidding me? Chocolate + wine + cherries = so good I almost ruptured my brain with constant 'yum yum yum' noises while I ate them.<br /><div><br />I can't believe this is over! I am so bummed, I wish I had done Candy Lent instead so I could have had 40 days instead of 30. But it was a blast, anyone who loves candy should definitely try this out sometime. I want to thank everyone who stopped by to read my blog, too. You guys are great.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>So what have we learned from Candy Ramadan?<br />1. I will never, ever get tired of candy.<br /></div> <div>2. Candy is mostly delicious but not always. </div> <div>3. Some candy companies need to work on their customer service.</div> <div>4. Candy is better when it is shared.</div> <div>5. Asian candy is for the adventurous.</div> <div>6. The best candy can be found in unexpected places.</div> <div>7. 'Premium' candy doesn't necessarily mean it's good candy.</div> <div>8. Check the expiration date.<br />9. Red bean candy is disgusting and edible rice paper is not to be trusted.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>So, what's in store for the future? There are a lot of projects that are still going on even though Candy Ramadan is over. I'm still waiting for my candy tree to grow:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjydD5kxbLpRu6NX1csizWHhO8Uxv4xvbEk-k9Qw8CD2rnti6rRjyqS9np7POZpfPRRBNRGX9oU0svuCGlWWVTDvRe3HA4Nm8YPtY0Fcuo7gitL1xzwHJFZzYOW-3L8fu-qeFIaig/s1600-h/candytree.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjydD5kxbLpRu6NX1csizWHhO8Uxv4xvbEk-k9Qw8CD2rnti6rRjyqS9np7POZpfPRRBNRGX9oU0svuCGlWWVTDvRe3HA4Nm8YPtY0Fcuo7gitL1xzwHJFZzYOW-3L8fu-qeFIaig/s320/candytree.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224922668355998322" border="0" /></a></div> <div> </div> <div><br />I'm collecting money to buy candy for the Reese's Piece Corps' Operation: Af-Candy-Stan that I'm planning on sending when the weather gets a little cooler, hopefully by the end of September:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAiHRKjYjLrUQG1ElgyQlpKdcCTFPcHEG0i5OVKHGD1EaHbB31X-e7bhISU2_7LuewWu6mNSzQwoolzJGL-zw3XyAg5HsGKHgbIEZx6swUyuvKbc2NdYog-A-h08LwuddfPk-m4w/s1600-h/banks.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAiHRKjYjLrUQG1ElgyQlpKdcCTFPcHEG0i5OVKHGD1EaHbB31X-e7bhISU2_7LuewWu6mNSzQwoolzJGL-zw3XyAg5HsGKHgbIEZx6swUyuvKbc2NdYog-A-h08LwuddfPk-m4w/s320/banks.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224922983408020594" border="0" /></a>Yes, I'm saving the Operation: Af-Candy-Stan money in Tootsie Roll Banks.<br /><br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>I still need to try candy from Africa and Antarctica:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijSKaxawc6mRgRnONuruN7SoRXXBZIF8aY2xrhP6mAZuROx1cprGpB4VeNOm_OMtk-6jmTH2SpUW892UlxB-aXx-UT9Sv6RxpX81wWkdCy-xrcLOZNamY7sxY7O2uFRatWKGAdfw/s1600-h/world-map.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijSKaxawc6mRgRnONuruN7SoRXXBZIF8aY2xrhP6mAZuROx1cprGpB4VeNOm_OMtk-6jmTH2SpUW892UlxB-aXx-UT9Sv6RxpX81wWkdCy-xrcLOZNamY7sxY7O2uFRatWKGAdfw/s320/world-map.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224925009884165058" border="0" /></a><br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>And I have a few baking projects that I will attempt with my left-over candy.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div><span style="font-weight: bold;">What's next?</span> Well, I'm about to go on vacation so what could be better than sitting on the beach, drinking rum and getting no tan lines? Sitting on the beach, drinking rum and getting no tan lines <i>while eating candy!</i> I'm going to come back in a week and blog all about what kinds of awesome candy I snorted down from the duty-free shop and all the excellent European treats they import in St. Maarten. I have a few ideas about future candy projects, but I'll let those be a secret until I get back.</div>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-70428078091973460252008-07-18T23:58:00.000-04:002008-07-19T00:23:59.731-04:00Candy Ramadan: Day 29<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://altura.speedera.net/ccimg.catalogcity.com/210000/212300/212389/Products/9921632.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 181px; height: 181px;" src="http://altura.speedera.net/ccimg.catalogcity.com/210000/212300/212389/Products/9921632.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />In my never-ending quest to glorify the word 'munch' I ate a Moose Munch Bar from Harry & David today. I got it on sale for 97-cents because they were going to discontinue some of the flavors, so that was pretty awesome. The flavor I got was S'mores. It was really good but having graham crackers and marshmallows on top of the chocolate-covered toffee popcorn and almonds seemed like overkill. The marshmallow bits were really hard, like the middle of a Violet Crumble. (Note to self: Make own candy car called Violent Pink Crumble). Now I know a lot of people adore Violet Crumbles but I think they're like taking a big old bite out of a stick of chalk. I'm getting skeeved out just thinking about the texture. Blaaaaugh!<br /><br />The good thing about the Munch Bar (Note to self: Open awesome candy-and-beer place called The Munch Bar) is that the marshmallows are few and far between. I must say that there was a surprising amount of chocolate in this candy, and it was all quality stuff. If I see these next time I might just go for the regular version because I wished there was more popcorn bits in mine.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.diamondorganics.com/images/uploads/1016_860_large.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 163px; height: 163px;" src="http://www.diamondorganics.com/images/uploads/1016_860_large.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Update! </span>Operation: Movie Theater Candy Caper went off without a hitch last night, probably because there was a metric buttload of nerds out to watch 'The Dark Knight' (which was rad, of course). I took with me a treat from Yoda's home planet: a Dagoba a organic chocolate bar that was flavored with coconut and brazil nuts. (Now I have North and South America, Asia, Australia and Europe covered for Candy Ramadan. Time to step up, Africa and Antarctica! You've only got until tomorrow!) This candy was OK, the chocolate was so creamy that is almost had a mouth-feel like butter. The word that came to mind was <span style="font-style: italic;">unctuous</span>. Now, that might sound like a good thing but it didn't have that nice snap that chocolate should have. It was kind of weird. Plus they ground up the nuts and coconut really tiny so there wasn't a good texture contrast.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tomorrow!</span> We wind down Candy Ramadan!Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-888106829850786742008-07-17T23:03:00.001-04:002008-07-17T23:04:52.461-04:00Candy Ramadan: Day 28<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1085/750881551_5f02014923_m.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 210px; height: 254px;" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1085/750881551_5f02014923_m.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><div>What has cocoa mass, wheat syrup and 22 mg of caffeine per serving? Trader Joe's Espresso Chocolates! These little bad asses are a dark chocolate shell filled with espresso. The shell actually looks a lot like the Nestle Treasures do, like they're both little candy logs filled with gooey goodness. The box points out that "other coffee candies have a cream center or bits of coffee beans. Trader Joe's Espresso Chocolates have a real liquid espresso center." Because that's just how they roll, people. Recognize!<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>I liked these a lot, because if there's one thing I like as much as candy it's coffee. And coffee and chocolate are a killer combination. Also they're individually wrapped so they're <i>tres </i>classy even though they do squirt in your mouth when you bite on them.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>I'm cutting this one a little short today because I'm about to see 'The Dark Knight'. HELLS YEAH! However, I am embarking on an illicit candy-smuggling operation at the theater, so I'll post later on how that goes. If I don't return, eat a Cow Tale in remembrance of me.</div> <div> </div> <div> </div> <div><a href="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1085/750881551_5f02014923_m.jpg" target="_blank"><br /></a></div>Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34915790.post-69248179502748292322008-07-16T01:06:00.002-04:002008-07-17T01:48:19.645-04:00Candy Ramadan: Day 27<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.walgreens.com/dbimagecache/285524.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 154px; height: 134px;" src="http://www.walgreens.com/dbimagecache/285524.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Because of my tardiness yesterday I will give you all a sweet two-for-one candy review today! First up we've got the Twizzlers Twerpz, which I found at Six Flags today. My search for Candy Ramadan offerings does not rest, not even in the middle of an amusement park where they charge $4 for a bottle of water! Anyway, these are described as Twizzlers with a 'tangy' filling. When I hear the word<span style="font-style: italic;"> tangy</span> I think of barbecue sauce, but I'm such a total freak for all things Twizzler that I just had to have these, possible barbecue-filled emotional scarring be damned.<br /><br />The Bites come in two flavors, strawberry and orange, with corresponding fillings. Basically all these were was a Twizzler Bite stuffed with a soft Starburst. Sort of like the candy equivalent of Combos Snacks. They were really excellent, though I think the strawberry ones were a little better. The Twizzler bit didn't really offer too much by the way of taste, but it was awesomely chewy.<br /><br />The second candy I had today was Caramels With Butter From Charentes-Poitou. T<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://chefshop.com/mmCHEFSHOP/Images/PP_1919.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 141px; height: 133px;" src="http://chefshop.com/mmCHEFSHOP/Images/PP_1919.JPG" alt="" border="0" /></a>hat is their official name, I guess. Charentes-Poitou is a region in France known for butter, so I don't know if the candy is made in Charentes-Poitou or just the butter they use in the candy. I bought these at Star Provisions. If Trader Joe's is the poor man's Whole Foods, then Whole Foods is the poor man's Star Provisions. It is an uber-gourmet store. This is where you can buy French grey sea salt or foie gras or Kobe steak (on sale for $128 per pound!). They claim that the four flavors are supposed to be vanilla, almond, coffee and chocolate, but the ingredients list hazelnut instead of almond. Ooh, maybe 'hazelnut' is French for 'almond'... nope, not according to Babelfish. Anyway, I had been wary of going to Star Provisions for a candy run because I knew that they had loads of gourmet stuff there and I might sell a kidney to get my hands on some. I found these caramels and the price wasn't too bad (well, by Star Provisions standards, anyway) so I snatched them up. You know, they have a cheesemonger there and a fishmonger and a butcher and a bunch of bakers, maybe they would need a candymonger too! "Yes ma'am, we just received in a fresh batch of Nibby Bars today. We also have an excellent 2007 Wooloomooloo Bar, would you care for a sample?" HOLY CRAP THAT WOULD BE SO SO SO RAD.<br /><br />...What was I talking about before I had a candy-gasm? Oh, right, the caramels. They were good, of course. Rich and creamy but not too sweet or sticky. Delicious.Sea Haghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01351883007719714922noreply@blogger.com1