Sea Hag Eats It: Recap: Sea Hag Loves New York (Episode 2)

So I missed the first 20 minutes of the show and that pisses me off, but not enough to go scour the Internet to find it. Apparently they had some kind of competition or something. I'm sure there were plenty of laughs and New York was a mega bitch.

Midget Mac!

So the winners of this thing were Midget Mac, Buddha (who is a gorgeous man) and The Doosh. Midget Mac (who I still think needs his own show) got some alone time with New York and they bonded over ranch dressing. Buddha and The Doosh had to share a date at the go-kart track where The Doosh continued to live up to his name by whining that Buddha wrecked him into the wall and admitting that he was going through a divorce so he still technically had a wife. Now, I do have to give him credit for having the nuts to admit that right off the bat but... yeah. Still married. Nice one there, Doosh.

Here's The Doosh being all 'Silence Of The Lambs' and shit.

Before the date The Doosh arranged to have flowers delivered to the mansion, which would be sweet if he hadn't pretty much admitted that it was all part of his Master Doosh Plan to manipulate New York. I swear this guy sells used cars for a living. Unfortunately for him, It answered the door and proceeded to take credit for the flowers himself. I'd like to take a moment now to tell you how much I hate It, so much so that I have decided to rename him Ass Biscuit. Why do I hate him? For one thing, he mumbles. He's also a moron. Separate, those things aren't that big of a deal, but together the form an unholy alliance of suckitude. For instance, when asked point-blank if he did, in fact, buy the flowers for New York or if he swiped them, he said "mumble mumble mmmmm you know boom boom bam bam boom mmmmm mumbles Lawrence Fishburn mumble mmmm mum." The best lie he could come up with was that Lawrence Fishburn must have sent the flowers to the house for Ass Biscuit. Wow. The problem is he's not stupid enough to be entertaining and his mouth-full-o'-marbles voice is just incredibly, horribly irritating to me. I hope he leaves soon, even before The Doosh.

Here's Ass Biscuit, formerly known as It. This is one of the smarter faces he makes.

Let's see... what else happened? Oh, Unsure decided to leave the house because... I don't know, he's retarded or something. I mean, he was upset because another guy ratted him out and he didn't like living in a house of people he wasn't friends with. News flash, honey: it's a COMPETITION. Your goal was to stay on the program long enough for people to get to know who you are, then when you leave people pay you like $5,000 to do appearances at their parties. Uh... I mean, stay on the show to find true love with New York. It was probably best that he left when he did because he has a face that's just begging for a beating.

Seriously, how can you look at this guy and not want to stomp on his nads for a while?

In the end, three guys left: Unsure, some guy who "looked like a pinto bean with eyes" , and some other guy who had a damn temper tantrum. It was pretty funny. So now it's down to 12 guys.