Things I'm Embarrased To Like: The Girls Next Door

I don't watch a lot of TV. I just don't. My work schedule is kinda messed up (we Pirate Strippers keep odd hours) so I don't mean that in a 'I'm a crunchy, granola-humpin' hippie so I'm too good to just sit on my ass and watch some mindless crap on TV ' way. I'm honestly not home a whole lot, so thats the reason why.

But a few weeks ago I had some free time (and a few bottles of Paulaner in me) so I was randomly flipping though the channels and I came across a show where this uber-dyed blonde with the most perfect fake tits I've ever seen was chirping about how she couldn't wait to get her new grill. Wow, thought my Hefeweizen-soaked brain, this is going to be one hot mess to behold.

And lo, it was, and I saw that it was good, and there was much rejoicing throughout my apartment. The show I stumbled on was none other than 'The Girls Next Door', which is about Hugh Hefner's three live-in girlfriends at the Playboy Mansion. Yeah, the dude's 80 and he has three pretty blonde girlfriends who are in their 20s and 30s. (I'd like to take a moment here to honor The Hef, the Original Playa. Thank you for raising the bar for us, dude. I am humbled in your televised presence. You are the king.)

My girls, from left to right: Holly, Bridget and Kendra. I really wanted a picture of Kendra with her grill, but sadly, I didn't find one.

One of the most striking things about the show is that the three girlfriends (Holly, Bridget, and Kendra... and yes I am to the point where I can refer to them by their first names) are in no way catty with each other. I mean, it's a reality-ish show so if there was even the tiniest hint of jealousy there I'm sure they'd be all over it like a rat on a Cheeto. But they very much act like sisters and spend a lot of time together...and that's another thing about this show: it seems as though these chicas were put on earth to look pretty and figure out new ways to waste time and Hef's money (and I am so envious of this, by the way). Besides the episode where Kendra gets her wicked pink-and-white grill, there's another episode where Holly decides to throw a slumber party and sets up the world's most fucking rad Slip-N-Slide on the rolling front lawn of the mansion. Then there's the episode where Bridget thinks that the mansion is haunted and calls in a couple of paranormal experts to check it out. Hilarity ensues.

I don't know what it is about this show that just absolutely sucks me in, but it does. Maybe it's because all three of the girls are very charismatic and entertaining, one minute they say something completely goofy, like Kendra talking about a costume for a party: "I really don't start planning my outfits until, like, a week ahead, because, whatever I put on is gonna be hot - you know, you could wear... two Band-Aids and a cork. " But then the next minute Bridget is talking about working on her second Master's degree. Or maybe it's because when I watch it I keep thinking goddamn, these girls would totally know how to party.

Well, for whatever reason, I am totally indulging mega-hardcore in this reality show. I am in the middle of watching the first season from Netflix. I will probably just go ahead and buy the DVDs. They did two photo spreads for Playboy and I'd love to get the back issues of them (hint hint, Sea Hag fans).