200-word movie summary: Purple Rain

Beautiful-in-a-trashy-80's-way Apollonia runs away from New Orleans to um...Minneapolis. She has a head full of dreams and a suitcase full of leather and shoulder pads. And lo, a porn star was born. But this is a movie, so instead she is a 'singer' and runs into Prince and Morris Day and one of them lets her sing in lingerie. I don't remember which one. It isn't important. Prince and The Revolution sing at a club and we are all reminded that he did some awesome stuff in the 80s. Wow, is that what it sounds like when doves cry? Prince still lives at home with his abusive Lawrence Fishburne-esqe father and mother. I guess those purple crushed velvet jackets are too expensive for him to afford rent in Minneapolis. All this apparently makes Prince angry and moody and there are close-ups of him being pensive and brooding, twofold. This isn't important either. Prince is a terrible actor. Apollonia and Prince fall in love and swap earrings with each other. Awww. A few members of The Revolution and the dude who owns the club get pissy about some crap no one cares about. The movie ends with his magical jizzing guitar.