Thursday, June 26, 2008

Candy Ramadan: Day 7

I was really dreading today's candy, which has a bunch of Japanese characters on the front of the bag and a tiny sticker on the back that identifies the contents as "Ribon Soft Hokkaido" (the quotation marks are theirs, not mine). Well, really dreading is the nice way of saying that, after the horror of red bean candy from Monday, I'd rather be punched in the pussy than try more World Market candy from Asia. And no, I'm not going to stop bitching about the red bean candy. You weren't there, man. You'll never know the suffering I endured at the hands of the White Rabbit Candy Company.

However, the candy bag also makes this hilarious claim: At last! A not too sticky calcium enriched soft-candy that's both healthy and tasty! and there is a drawing of a moo cow that looks so gentle and beseeching, imploring me to change my mind and partake in the bounty of this calcium-enriched earthly delight. I think it must be one of those Kobe cows that gets to drink beer. Would a Beer Cow lie to me? I think not. Plus, you know, I have been having issues finding texturally pleasant soft candy that's both delicious and nutritious. At last! I feel as though a great weight has been lifted from my calcium-starved mind.

These things are actually pretty tasty. They're kind of like a really soft vanilla-flavored Tootsie Roll. Or like a candy version of the milk left in the cereal bowl after you eat Frosted Flakes. The nutritional information has a serving of these things (which is about 2 candies) as having a whopping 2% of your daily amount of calcium. I can feel my bones getting stronger as I type. The main ingredient in this is millet jelly, and I thought about Googling that to see what the hell that was, but then I decided that I'm probably better off not knowing.


Lady Jane Scarlett said...

I can't wait until you get to Sweet Tarts!

Sea Hag said...

Whoa, I'm totally going to be on the look out for Squeezy Tarts. I love the fact that under the description it says "Sorry, fluoride is NOT an ingredient of this product." Heh heh. Why didn't I think of brushing my teeth with candy?