Drugs, drugs everywhere

... and they're all IN ME.

Darling Sea Hag readers, I would like to point out that it is 6:31 a.m. and my happy ass is still awake. Now, I'm notorious for having pretty bad insomnia, but I haven't slept but about 4 hours in the last 50. OK, I've been known to stay up even later than that on occasion (all the time) but I am currently battling some stupid-shit bronchial infection so I need to sleep VERY BADLY. So, naturally, I can't.

Yay for drugs! I noticed that after I took this picture I was inadvertently giving a thumbs-up to Michael's DJ gear as well, but in the end I decided that I was killing two rad birds with one stone. Or thumb. Whatever.

Let me give you a little slice of history how this all came to be. When I woke up on the morning (well, afternoon) of my birthday, I had a sore throat, so that was just a big, sweet steaming pile of motherfuck. But let me state for the record that not only was Friday my birthday AND I was sick, I didn't call in to work (you can send Martyr Dollars to Sea Hag, P.O. Box 369, Walla Walla, Washington, 90028). But what started out as a sore throat turned into a raging phlegm monster that finally made me to go to the doctor yesterday.

So while at the doctor's office, after forgetting about me for an hour, they had me smoke some peace pipe thing and then they gave me a shot of sting-y medicine in my ass. They also gave me prescriptions for three other medications to take at home.

Let me just state for the record that out of the five medications I ingested today ON TOP OF the gallons of hot tea, orange juice, Tylenol, and Robitussin I took, not one damn thing has worked at all. I'm still coughing about every 45 seconds, which I'm sure would be keeping Michael up if he hadn't been up all last night with me watching 'Buck Rogers in the 25th Century'.

The cough medicine I'm taking has codeine in it, which had previously been a good friend of mine but is totally disappointing me. It should at least be making me drowsy if not making me think I can walk through walls and hear dead people. I think the problem is that the other two medications I'm on are some kind of steroids since I can't take NSAIDs, and both of them have promised to give me a jittery meth-like jolt according to their patient information cards, so I'm pretty much totally dicked (and not in the good way... although, if they keep me on steroids I might be able to dick myself soon). But at this point I'm so desperate for sleep that I popped two Tylenol PM (on top of the Rozerem I took 5 hours ago), adverse drug interactions be damned.

So please, down-stairs neighbors, if you hear a loud thud in about an hour, call 911. I'll try not to soil myself if I have a stroke.