Saturday, August 11, 2007

I'm a candy whore

So, I'm a total whore for candy and on the suggestion of Diablo Cody I wanted to try the new Carnival Skittles. I got to try a few when I went with most of the Hyperion Nation to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and since then I have craved more. I finally found a Kroger that was selling them and bought myself a giant-ass bag.

Limited Edition Carnival Skittles = nom nom nom.

Last night I was munching on my Carnival Skittles and telling Noochie how much I was digging on the red licorice flavored ones. See, if there is one candy I would totally abandon all vestiges of dignity for, it'd be Twizzlers, so I was totally happy that the good people at the Skittles company made a Skittle that tasted so much like Twizzlers. Noochie ignored my near-orgasmic ramblings about Twizzler Skittles, but was intrigued by the fact that Skittles decided to make a bag of candy based on a theme instead of a collection of flavors (like Sour Skittles, Smoothie Skittles, Wild Berry Skittles, etc.), Noochie and I wondered what theme they might come up with next:

Baseball Skittles: beer, nacho cheese, popcorn, Cracker Jack, hot dogs, peanuts. (They could also market Baseball Skittles to Cubs fans with an additional flavor called bitter disappointment. Ooooh burn!)

Crack Whore Skittles: crack rock, sperm, Dumpster juice, motel tap water, desperation.

Carnivàle Skittles: dust, bearded woman, lobster gal, Knights Templar, evil (which would taste like green peppers), good (which would taste like chocolate Twizzlers).

Christmas Skittles: Christmas tree, sugar cookie, Jesus, spiked egg nog, new socks, credit card bills, bitter disappointment (again).

Hippie Skittles: hemp, dreadlocks, organic arugula, patchouli, tofu.

We should work for the Skittles company, clearly.

3 comments:

Dragon said...

I think I'll pass on the Crack Whore skittles. Hmmm, I wonder what Jesus would taste like?

Sparky Duck said...

who cares about Jesus, they make a giant bag of Carnival skittles?????

Hyperion said...

You're making fun of Carnivale? The show I demanded you watched?

If you have become a huge fan, I guess it's okay (except, why have you not called to thank me?), but otherwise it's the plank for ye!